The - By monty

Hello my fellow users. Today's discussion is going to be about the word 'The' as promised.

The following is the definition of the word 'The' 
Incase you didn't know what it meant.

Definition:
1.
denoting one or more people or things already mentioned or assumed to be common knowledge.
"what's the matter?"
2.
used to point forward to a following qualifying or defining clause or phrase.
"the fuss that he made of her"

Isn't it beautiful? This word is so powerful it only exists in the English language! (I think, well for the sake of this thread let's assume it is...)

'The' has been used throughout very key events in history. One notable event is when a Scholar specialising in the art of Tellecommunications spent an entire two years writing up a dissertation in relation to the word 'The'. It was truly remarkable. All the University professors were absolutely astounded at the sheer brilliance this man had produced.

The following is the work produced by this phenomenonal man:

It brings a tear to my eye to know that a man like this once roamed the earth with free advanced knowledge beyond the likes of anyone in existence, right at his disposal.

Let's analyse this man's work in more detail. 
I decided to Google the word 'The' to see if this genius of a man may have left us some sort of lingering knowledge to grab on to.

And to my surprise... THERE WAS SOMETHING. 
The first search result lead me to an article. I will now proceed to show you an extract of this article:

Russia’s state consumer watchdog has warned that fidget spinners could be harmfully addictive, after state TV said the toys could make people susceptible to the messages of the political opposition.

The watchdog said it had noted “the aggressive promotion of so-called spinners around children and teenagers” and was aware of concern from parents and teachers.

It said it would ask scientists to “study the effects of the influence of spinners on children’s health, including possible negative consequences”.

The announcement, accompanied by warnings not to buy spinners on the street and to check them for chemical smells, came after fearmongering over the toys on state television.

A show called Virus on Rossiya 24 television on 12 July called spinners an “instrument for zombifying” and a “form of hypnosis”.

Spinners “often have a negative effect on the psyche and make a person susceptible to manipulation”, the presenter warned.

“Possibly it is not by chance that they have started selling spinners” at opposition rallies, he added.

Yes. This scholar has prophecised humanities doom. He's warning us against the rise of the fidget spinners and I have finally found his message. 
Fidget spinners are now used as a play card against political opponents. They are manipulating you, the masses, into voting for them!! 
Grab your fidget spinners and throw them away, protect your children!

We are living in a dark age. An age where we could all be manipulated. We need to stand together and think for ourselves for once! We cannot and should not let people with inherented power govern over us.

It is time we make a stand and rise above the rest. Go out there and make a name for yourself. Remember THE Scholar who has opened your eyes. For he is our true saviour.

I will now let you be. Decide for yourself. Decide your fate and the worlds. I am totally not listening to any dramatic soundtracks right now to make this sound more dramatic.

Spin your spinners, attack!!!

Questions:
1. The?

*disappears into THE night sky*
~WOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHH~

P.S - hey mods x)