Keth's unfinished business

Keth 蛇 
@VeryNormalPerson 3 months ago

After years of work and reflection, hours of sweating and stressing, I finally came 
to understand that the world isn't perfect. Some of us were born with flaws and no one can master everything, humans have a limit, which they can't pass. That is where I, Dr.K, came to the conclusion that I can't possibly be human. I don't possess any flaws or limitations, I am an higher form of life, something flawless, impeccable and exquisite, improsioned on these biological walls you commonly call a body.

Quoting Albert Einstein, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe". So as a Saint I quickly understood the purpose given to me by the universe itself: to understand what is wrong with you, and fix it. Religion and Science joined together on my psychologically long journey, to unveil the most hidden secrets of the human body.
Sadly all I could do was figure out and understand the problems you all have. I failed myself and existence itself in finding a solution for you. Yeah even me can't cure you, You suck. I couldn't fulfil the only job that I had, and for that I will be greatly disappointed with myself until my last days living.

But, because there is always a but in every circumstance, I will be able to show half of the work I was In charge of doing. I will proceed to leak my life work, the disorders each one of you has. These files were Top Secret material from the e-government, but I think I can't hold them up only for me anymore, I must have you know what are your problems, as the good doctor I am, or want be.

I started this e-project 1 decade ago, this was all I gathered, all my knowledge resides in these files. It's time to share it with you. You will get to learn about symptoms you never heard or thought of the existence, so it will be a cultural read nevertheless.

Patients

The first individual that got my attention was S.M. . After some days of talking with him, my first instinct was to diagnose him with Depression. He had all the requirements for it, he was always in a low mood, and his background checked, he experienced a childhood predominantly around violence and unequal parental treatment, he was the least favorite son, suffering for 20 years because of it. Because of this irregular growth he had, he was never successfull in life adding to the so called Depression I diagnosed him with. But after an even deeper and insightful research, I found out that there was no anomalies on his brain, meaning that it wasn't depression, it was a rare case of Munchausen's syndrome. I was impressed but after a few seconds reason made it look clear. Of course it had to be this. He is even the owner of this channel. He is feigning his illness to gather attention, and activity in Shadow Zone. Afterall all of his stories seem quite unrealistic and hyperbolic, and it is not the first time this happens on this site. There you have it, S.M. the clout chaser.

Never got a problem with pedophiles, even I admit to like cute little girls, but there was something intriguing about this particular nonce. Something unusual, that always tickled me at the back of my head. Erotomania. He thought that his victims were infatuated him. So sick. This is basically a mental excuse for him to freely nonce without remorse. No they don't like you, no you are not the best moderator. It's all in your head, you shy and sexually inexperienced man. Anime changed you. You became a dangerously delusional man.

Met my third patient when I was walking down the slums that are discord. Luckily I got into a V.C. with him. And I must say it is very hard to diagnose someone with something when sometimes the characteristics of a certain disorder or disease are predominantly physical. Because you can't see them, pretty obvious. Anyways I easily diagnosed Larry withTourette syndrome . A lot of people have a wrong definition of this disorder, it is not a disorder that makes you swear without wanting, and most of the times it has nothing to do with your childhood, it has to do with the genes mostly. It is more complex than you think, neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by multiple motor tics and at least one vocal tic. And the vocal tics tend to be swearing words. In Larry's case his vocabulary is 70% around "fuck" and "dick". It is not very evident if you search it because he mainly has this language on vc, unlike mr.jacock here with an outstanding 1.6k "lol"'s which I hardly think it is on purpose, otherwise there must be problem with his brain.

But I do have to admit that so much "dick" talking makes you have some creative and funny "dick" comments. So Larry, embrace your disorder, no need to be shy, no one will or can judge you in this asylum.

Patient no4 was hard to handle, he had some frequent tendencies for violence which to be honest, had me a little worried. As a doctor, I can only fight back with words, and sometimes medication hehe. But all he wanted was to talk about his problems. Perfect! I could easily tame him after I knew what was wrong with him. Unfortunately it was the common love problem people online have. Shaderu Kun has a big infatuation with the female body, but can't seem to get any luck in interacting with it so he resorted to medication and masturbation. He said he was having problems stopping his habits lately and I quickly diagnosed him with Tardive dyskinesia. Normally the involuntary, repetitive body movements are mostly facial, but I remember that he told me he was taking some pills. So everything made sense. The pills gave him,unfortunately, neurological problems and now he can't stop masturbating. Heard he barely has any peen skin. I heard this man has 5 arms, which make me a little more worried. Shaderu, the supersonic masturbater.

I am known for having a short temper. Missy tested my limits to the maximum. I have to be honest, dealing with retarded people isn't what I like to do the most. But I promised to myself I would try to help all the poor souls who set feet here. I sadly diagnosed my fifth patient with Huntington's disease. She told me her parents also had the same problem so I ran a computed tomography scan on her, her parents and her siblings. and the inheritance matched. I had few insight in this disorder, since there are many disorders and names around retardation, but I still remember some notes I wrote on HD, it was around the death of brain cells. Kinda creepy, and has some similarities with Alzheimer and Parkinson, but I have seen many worse things in my working life. It starts off with some mood swings and a lack of coordination, which get gradually worse, leading to dementia, basically the state Missy is. It is also worth mentioning that people with HD often underestimate the degree of their problems, meaning she is always refusing to have something until further proof, which made my job harder to handle. Poor Missy I thought she was retarded by choice but she is naturally and physically retarded.

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I am really sorry for opening a file for two patients at the same time. I know it is very unprofessional but your disorders are similar. There was nothing mysterious about these two, I diagnosed them the first moment I saw them. My sixth and seventh patients, Moosenpaichan and Crow have Species dysphoria. Pretty clear on the name, they both thought they were on the wrong species, so they tried to become the animals they most admired, a crow and a cow. What's even more interesting is that Paradox not only has this disorder as he also has Boanthropy, both disorders are similar yes, although in this case the individual thinks he is a bovine. Yeah, the world is filled with weirdos. But let's not judge. Let me correct myself, you can't judge, you also have a problem buddy. Infinite may have his reasons after all, maybe he wants to be praised by the whole indian community or he's just a very big furry fan. Let him be, he is cool as he is uwu.
Regarding crow I couldn't see anything unusual, maybe because of the lack of interaction. Need to work on this one, he looks lonely.

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no8
Shin chan kun was a funny patient, had a great time with him, he was a very good counselor in the love department, which made me very curious, because yknow, you can't be successful at everything, medicine sucks your free time away, specially when you are working with people such as yourselves, the really problematic time. With time I started noticing sudden mood swings on his behaviour, shi kun would go from bragging about his 12 ex girlfriends to getting really philosophical and sad about a new love partner, what is true love and why does he like girls and not boys. Cyclothymia . I thought I could have a nice conversation with him but he would either brag about his rich dead dad or his Jamaican mother or start crying and reflecting on why does he spend so much time playing games, when he could do something productive like studying. And it started getting really annoying sadly, so annoying that I started medicating him secretly lithium, a mood stabilizer, in order to have a normal conversation with him. Hope I can cure this one, need more love tips.

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no9
One of the disorders I was wishing to work on the most. It is hard to build a profile and analyse a certain health problem when the patient keep ignoring you. But that was raemins disorder, which I found shortly after. Selective Mutism . I thought she was just naturally rude, as she kept ignoring my replies and answer every single other one. It started hurting, even a doctor like me has feelings. The problem is she isn't able to control it. She will go through anything, shame, ostracism, bullying, it looks like it is genetic. She can't speak in specific situations or to specific people, being me the victim In this case. Maybe because she had a very complicated childhood, maybe she had some violent family, maybe because my presence intimidates her, or maybe because she's just shy. Wonder what really happened with my ninth patient.

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No10 irreg

Top 5 best patients that ever lived on Earth. And my opinion never is biased, reggie chan just has that power over someone. I diagnosed irregular with Partialism. People with this problem tend to have a sexual attraction with a specific part of the body only, other than the genitals. More specifically, he had Pygophilia, and a very deep one. Putting it simple so people without Doctoral Degrees such as yourselves understand, The Irregular One, my tenth patient was in love with my buttcheeks. And I mean, I wasn't fine with him starting at my ass constantly but I started getting used to it. At a certain point I would those poses, that those instagram chicks with 16 years do to bait guys like me into thinking they have a big butt. I have a question do the public though. Is It wrong if you have a relationship with a patient? Is it unprofessional? v_v
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No 11
Someone who I didn't talk much to, one of my newer patients she looked young, and funny. I started noticing that each time she was on my clinic I would lose work equipment, maybe I would get too distracted by her presence or I was just very messy and lacked organization. Until I caught her stealing my stethoscope near my desk. So I confronted her, but she kept lying like she wasn't able to admit it to herself. So I diagnosed her with Kleptomania. I asked her to open her bag and give me the material she stole from me. The surgical scissors and the nebulizer I lost last week and the Sphygmomanometer which made delay many appointments because I didn't have a spare one. I shaked my head. And she looked at me. Suddenly that doe eyed face she had made me realize something. She stole yet another thing. She stole my heart.

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Nishi was a cute patient. I didn't notice her presence in the first 20 minutes unfortunately due to our height difference but when my nurse pointed her out it looked like she grew 2 meters taller. She came to me because she had heard I made miracles. Clear nonsense, I don't know if I should be scared or impressed with my reputation. I'm a simple man trying to help others. 
After some discussing, I could retain the key words from that conversation. She wanted to grow, she wanted to get a diet to get fitter, and she told me some medication would do good too, because she was feeling sensitive to some things, especially cold objects, and was always feeling tired. So I ran a blood analysis. I also noticed a slight goiter. So after seeing the results I could finally attribute the respective disorder. 
Hypothyroidism, an endocrine problem. The thyroid gland is responsible for making the thyroid hormone, which regulates the metabolism and the growth of your body. Nishi was lacking this hormone, she had a weak bone structure that's why she is a fatty dwarf. She still cute so I am not going to administrate nothing to her and let her be as she is. Cute.

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No13 daniella
Mr. Secretary. I noticed how pationate she was about her job. I can even say it was too much affection for work. She didn't my appreciate my small talk and wanted to go straight to the point. I was hoping she could understand that my chit chats are meant to check if she had any social problem, but she looked just stressed. Very stressed. I guess she insanely loved her job. And was scared of not getting it done perfectly. Yes daniella was a perfectionist. So I clearly diagnosed her with Atelophobia and OCD. She is everything you would wish to have on an employee. She such a strong personality, and way of doing things, you would want to pay her more. But, things are not this simple. And I guess the why of Daniella being like this is the most important thing here. She is romantically insecure. Maybe because she got rejected on highschool and couldn't recover from it. So she just distracted herself with work and work and more work. I call this philophobia. Dani chan is terrified of falling in love. You might think this is normal, ah weebs will never get no one in their lives, they are losers well I wonder why you love to e-ship so much. Daniella Hella Swella Fella someday is going to blow, and my help here is critical.
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No14 Rihan

Such a confusing session jesus. She called herself Shinobu then Rihan then Karen, I don't even know anymore. But it is normal for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I was trying to set some boundaries and limits to the disorder, such as how many people she thought she was, or the background history that triggered her disorder, but this case was nuts. She changed personas from 20 to 20 minutes. She was either an old woman, or a kid in primary school, jumping around. But after some thinking and overthinking I got left with two conclusions: war or a tough childhood. Since she loves to spam weird remotes and behaved like a kid I went with the latter. I noticed some scars on the back of her neck, and on the legs, signs of aggression and automutilation. I think the best way is to kill her alternatives one by one. She might start doing even more but it's already I can wait. I need to work on her before she turns/ creates a psychopathic persona , one of the biggest consequences of this disorder.
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No14 Baka God complex
This patient was a perfect example of what popularity does to you. Jeebus was an humble man until a sudden and very random YouTube strike of fame. Millions and billions of views and fans flattering him made the poor Nipple Boy turn into an evil casual with a God Complex Always highly dogmatic on his views, this Jojotuber speaks of his personal opinions like they were unquestionably correct.  Before he would always ask before doing something now he exhibits no regard for the conventions and demands of the communities, requests special considerations and privileges. He thinks he is above the law, quite preposterous for a youtuber that can't profit from his work. Sad, the patients who sadden me more are the delusional ones. Normally the main problem is not having someone to control them, like a parent or a friend. So I think the solution should be shock therapy, it worked since it was created, 300 years ago, it will surely still work on this poor soul.
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No15 Buphido Malingering 
From the moment I set foot here I quickly sensed some evil auras hiding here. Some of you may not notice, but after dealing with hundreds of patients on a daily basis my connection and insight on the human body far surpasses the one you all have. Buphido was one of those people that gave me nausea just with her presence. Admitting to have a series of diseases she looked so nice but her pattern on doing this was just abnormal, it looked like she wasn't enjoying doing things but was doing it for a purpose. My guess was right. Everything was a lie. She was pretending to be ill so she could control SM feelings, and have the underground control of the channel,.which unfortunately was a major success, she was behind the recent mysterious mass ban event that happened and was getting 86.7% of all the revenue made by the past 7 months on SZ. I diagnosed her with Malingering. I hope Shadow Zone now continues living free of corruption now that this fake lung cancer patient was exposed.
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No 16 Gori aids

I rarely get to diagnose e-celebrities but this man was looking for some secrecy. After some blood analysis I could clearly see he had< Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome . Well the virus was in a very primary state so my guess was that he was infected very early when the virus didn't had proper mutations. I even dare to stay he contacted directly with the virus, through some chimpanzee interaction, which I am guessing it was sexual. For those who may not know, this disease was identified by scientists to come from a certain type of West Africa chimpanzees. When men hunted these poor animals they got exposed to their blood. Their immunodeficiency virus SIV mutated into HIV and now is the source of many problems in Africa. One of the first reports of this disease were from a man in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo. Well after checking Gori's ID, the data checked. I don't believe in coincidences and strongly affirm that this Congolese monkey lover was one of the first men to get attacked by this virus. 
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No17 Worldy Palilalia
Natsu, Worldy, Jacock, whatever you want to call it. I really wonder what's the purpose of a discord server of a channel when instead of helping its activity, its stealing the users. I found my seventeenth patient on the Shadow Zone server. And I think he wasn't 100% sane. I noticed he couldn't stop laughing. Like literally 1 in every four to five of his comments were him laughing.

I was considering and was really thinking if this was a case of the Pseudobulbar Effect or a strong Palilalia. He either laughs uncontrollably or for him laughing is like a tic that he does and doesn't notice. Hope it really is the first. Normally people with Palilalia tend to have Autism. Now I ask you, is Worldy disabled?
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No18 Dante Gigantism
Had to make my session outside because the eighteenth patient couldn't pass the entrance. 7'8'' and 440 pounds. Danty Chan had Gigantism. This is associated with cancer so I guess our boy Alexander will not be with us for much longer. Most of the times this is caused due to the abnormal tumor growths on pituary glands that segregates the Growth Hormone. So he doesn't stop growing. 
As bad as it may seem he has been dealing very well with it. Despite chemotherapy treating him not so nicely, already lost all his body hair, he has been using his height to play basketball and other diverse sports where height is a crucial factor to be successful. What matters is that he is happy and doesn't seem to be psychologically unstable for having a terminal disease.
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No19 Howl enuresis
Howl, poor guy had a rough childhood. Read his files and saw some previous odd incidents of aggression and violation with his uncle. Authorities found out via the uncle himself, very weird. All the sexual fantasies that howlie's uncle experimented on his nephew made Howl a little bit retarded. One of the problems he currently has, besides a physically very undeveloped body and anxiety on high levels , is the inability to control his urination, in short Enuresis . Maybe connected to some of the uncles fetishes, Howl can't control it, peeing in the most uncomfortable occasions. The problem isn't physical because he is still young, so I am believing that peeing himself comes either from pleasure or his background history. And I think it's both. Howl needs a psychologist A.S.A.P. .
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No20 Lucy transvestic fetishism
Winner of the Best SZ Girl 2019, cringe events, but still fun events nonetheless, you thought she would escape, but unfortunately she had Tranvestic Fetishism . The name is pretty clear but since I am dealing with disabled people I should explain it. Having a sexual or erotic interest in cross-dressing. The thing I am not sure about this patient is that I don't know which gender he/she/it really is. Is it a girl cross dressing up as a boy or a boy dressing up as a girl. Intriguing paradox. But what does make me happy is that this isn't the usual disturbing furry thing. Not much to add, this is the type of disorders that vanish after some time, so she will be fine by the time I do a second check. 
P.S. : Great roleplayer, the person you should seek when you are feeling emotional and need some e affection. Very versatile and innovative in his words.
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No21 wheese necrophilia
Kvothe, Whese, Sean, I don't even know why people change their names so often, is it to remain unknown? Because it's not working. But I can understand why this patient was trying to remain under the radar. 
I didn't have to diagnose this patient with anything at all, he was kind enough to express his problem very openly. I have to thank you for that, you saved me precious time.

Most of the patients I had with this disorder revealed the desire to possess a non-resisting and non-rejecting partner and the strong wish to have a romantic reunion with someone. So you clearly notice that this disorder doesn't come directly from the desire to have sexual intercourse with someone dead, but it comes from pure desperation. Sometimes people can't control the fact that they are not loved, and they commit these atrocious acts.
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No 22 winter congenital insensitivity to pain

Winter Blackrose, Virgin Blackrose, Something Blackrose. I diagnosed him with Congenital Insensitivity to Pain. Because he's a weeb, he's been through a lot. Y'know, the type of teens, everybody doesn't love them, they watch anime, they only dress in black, they cut themselves and use tumblr, all a e s t h e t h i c s and stuff. Usually love this type of quotes, God knows why.

Pretty common type of patients, only thing I can do is recommend them to start listening to their parents and stop acting like rebels because it leads to bad choices in life.
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No23 huffley haphephobia 
Holding hands
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No24 hipsta albuminuria
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No25 prakisha synesthesia
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No26 Charles dyscalculia
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No27 yumi Borderline personality disorder 
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No28 huffley cute agression
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No29 horny chan troilism
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No30 kimi encopresis
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No31 fallen exhibitionism
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No32 chaotic gender dysphoria
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No33 mahiru Alexithymia
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No 34 wash hypochondriac 
================================================ no35 it feels good nymphomaniac 
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No36 azarco (unknown entity) anosognia
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No37 eyebags aphasia
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No 38 centipede schizophrenia 
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No39 Thomas Human Werewolf Syndrome
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No40 kuro pica
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No 41 lana progeria
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No42 Nao Hyperthymesia
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No 43 Rina agoraphobia
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No 44 Em misophonia, head explosion sydrome
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No 45 Yusa fregoli delusion
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No 46 Yuki ekboms syndrome 
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No47 Kyoko orthorexia
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No48 Godish Histrionic personality disorder
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No49 Alucard pyromania
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No50 Skedaddle Triskaidekaphobia
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No51 Fahren anhedonia
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No52 Jon snow trimethylaminuria
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No53 jun

Others: factitious disorder
If not anosognia

YEA THIS SHIT AINT COMPLETE